This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Sunday, 16 December 2012

Drowning in my own emotions and not being able to swim my way through it

a note to my 15 year old self

Dear Qadri,

I know how desperately you want and need that straight A's in your PMR examination and how you'd kill yourself if you get something other than 8 A's but hey listen to me. At the end of the day, your PMR results will stay as your PMR results and no one would bother about it ever. Well maybe in the first few days you'll brag about it to your family and friends but in the end you have your SPM to focus to. That's the main thing that you should be focusing on in your life. If your SPM is screwed up that means you're screwing up your whole life. You can't go to overseas to further your studies, you can't experience the chance of a lifetime of fulfilling your mother's dream to visit you at overseas and you would be miserable for your whole life. Imagine getting yourself a wife who's more educated than you. Scary right? So dear me, just prepare yourself for the worst thing that could have happen to yourself this Wednesday and just suck it all up and go on with your life. Why can't I just go to school, take my results without anyone bothering how well did I do or how many A's did I get, and just go home and carry on? I wish I can do that. The problem is people would be asking this and that and bla bla bla. The worst thing is, if I did not get straight A's, some people would say this and that and I just hate it. Again, hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. You got that dream last night right? Now all that you have to do is tawakkal and pray to the Almighty and hope that all your hard work in your three years of studying paid off. I'll be writing notes to my dear self again and I hope this note will continue being my legacy until I die. xx

Sincerely, me
Black Moustache