This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Sunday, 11 August 2013

Have you ever wondered what was the actual purpose of the creation of you?

and I wonder would anyone notice my absence if I disappear from this world?

Happy Eid Mubarak guys! I've been busy in hometown lately lol um so as you grow old, you will eventually lose the excitement of Eid when you would go out and play firecrackers and shout out "IT'S RAYA! IT'S RAYA!'. Or when you're still eligible to get some duit raya from your relatives or when you receive RM1 in a sampul duit raya and you feel very very grateful because at least you get some while the little kids be like "alah sampul je besar" or when you get to eat all sorts of food available during Eid after one whole month without lunch or breakfast. All these excitements may fade in time but one thing that I get and what I truly understand about Eid is the spirit of togetherness and forgiving.

We dont really get to spend our time with our big family (provided that everyone's busy with their own lives) like we do during Eid when we will take loads of pictures together or when we crack silly jokes with them and laugh like there's no tomorrow. We only get to do those kind of stuffs during Eid, when every single person in the family will try their very best to gather around in their hometown thus, enlightening the spirit of togetherness. Some people (especially the kids) understand Eid as in "hey I meet you once a year, can I have your money please?" but well for me it's not just about the duit raya. It's about bonding and meeting the people who actually had been there with you since you were practically born.

And as I grow older, (yes I get less duit raya) I fully understand what it meant by forgiving and forgetting. When you were younger, you get to ask "nak duit raya boleh?" and people will think it's cute for a kid to say that but when you're almost  reaching adulthood aka 16 years old, when you come up to your relatives, you'll cry. (idk about you guys but I cried a lot on the first day of Syawal) When you say "I'm sorry for everything that I'd done and please pray for my success in SPM next year" and then they reply "you're one fine young man and we're very proud of you. Keep up the excellence and Insyaallah straight A's will be yours next year". That feeling you get when people say they're proud of you, the indescribable feeling is very priceless. And my most touching moment was when I came up to my grandmother and the first thing she said was "nenek jaga Qadri dari kecik, nenek harap Qadri datang rumah nenek lagi kerap......" and I just cant hold it any longer. I burst into tears on my nenek's shoulder. I grew up with my grandparents until I was almost 4 years old. I had so many memories with them that I cant even recall but my grandmother always tell me about some of the memories that she remembers until now. There's this one memory that I held on until now which goes something like this; every time when she wanted to go to pasar pagi with my arwah atuk, she'd always bring me along in a stroller and everyday, a little girl would come up to us and just follow us and before she went away, she would look me in the eyes. I dont know why that memory stayed with me but it portrayed how they were very caring about me until they would bring me along to the pasar. I miss my arwah atuk though I wasnt really living when he passed away. *sigh

So um I guess that's Eid in my point of view. How was yours? Keep praying that we will get the chance to face another Ramadan and another Eid. Goodbye xx
Black Moustache