This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Sunday, 13 October 2013

Here's to the smartest person I've ever known

sometimes i dont care on what others might think of me

So we had this mini camp on 4th until 6th October. The first word that came up to my mind was indeed, reluctance. Just imagine I didnt get any weekends for like 3 weeks straight and suddenly I got to know that I had to go to another freaking camp in conjunction with PEERS. Exhausting. I had to go to that camp, halfheartedly. In the end, the camp turned out incredible! It was not like any other camp. We stayed in chalets by the beach. Every morning we would wake up to the soothing sound of the waves. When you get to play around in the water with your friends after some stressful weeks, that camp was a total stress reliever! The activities were not that heavy but still we managed to grasp the hidden agenda behind every single one of it.

There was this one night when Cikgu Lah (our amazing facilitator) asked for a volunteer from the EMCs and I didnt know what possessed me at that time, I quickly raised my hand. I went to him and he asked me to read something out aloud so that everyone could hear. I thought this was going to be easy. I read out some kind of note from an old dad to his son. It was about his thoughts and some other cheesy things. I read out steadily at first, and gradually, my eyes went teary. The note came to this line "When I grow old and I told you I dont want to live anymore....." and I just could not hold it back anymore. The situation became very very awkward. After it was done, I went back to my place and luckily I managed to stop crying. It was intense but calming at the same time. I thought about my dad and how much I love him dearly.

Another activity that we did which affected a big part of me was called "Interaksi Alam" or Interaction with Nature. We were put alone facing the ocean at midnight and were told to do nothing but; 1. look at the things that we want to look, 2. hear the things we want to hear, 3. think of the things that we want to think, and 4. say the things that we want to say. As soon as I sat down on the moist sand, I stared at the waves. It kept coming to me, back and forth, back and forth. The funny thing is that the waves were not able to reach my feet but still, they kept coming. To me, they portrayed how we should put endless effort into everything that we want to do and achieve the things that we long for badly. And I reflected back onto myself. I asked myself what have I done to put me at this state? And there were no answers. I hope I can find the answers to the question soon.

p/s: you can say anything about me as you please but as long as I have my friends by me, I am completely secure
Black Moustache