This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Saturday, 9 November 2013

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

it is more painful to ignore Allah, when He was right there all along

Lately I've been thinking of my never ending list of problems. Starting from tidbits at home, to some massive life wrecker in school. Up to one point, all these problems were as if hitting me all at the same time, causing me to gradually lose grip on myself and I became very vulnerable for a few weeks. At that point, everything was falling apart, everything seemed so wrong. I didnt know who should I completely trust, who should I turn to. I controlled myself from making jokes of people because that caused me to lose one of my best buds. I apologized but what did I get in return? Verbal abuse and curse. The pain cut deep. Really deep that I stopped trusting people generally. Plus, why should we waste our time for temporary people? Totally pointless.

When I was slowly floating through the sea of problems, I found the answer. Sometimes, when Allah pulls you away from everyone else, maybe that is the perfect time for you to turn back to Him. I had drifted too far away from Him, but still He doesnt move even an inch. He's still there, waiting for my prayers. That hit me hard. I regret for neglecting The Almighty too long. However, He's still there. I started to amend my relationship with Him, slowly and steadily. Well a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, right?

After those painful weeks, I started to get a glimpse of happiness. I found some inner peace. Without pain, we will never know the true meaning of joy. Hablumminallah wa hablumminannaas. As my relationship with Allah gets better, so do my relationship with the people around me. Alhamdulillah.

p/s: Do believe that He will never forget his 'abid, no matter how far you've strayed away from Him
Black Moustache