This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Sunday, 25 May 2014

Joe Brooks - Holes Inside

most of the things you worry about does not happen

((This is a rather personal post))

Assalamualaikum.

I know what you might think. That it is absurd for a bad friend like me to send you this somewhat imaginary note all the way to you - in hoping that at least you'll come across this - asking for apologies that I've been seeking for since I dont even know when. I know what I did back then was stupid. I know I ruined whatever that we had between us. I know it was my fault all along. But that was also why I've been seeking from you a sincere apology & a decent closure to everything that's currently happening between us. Honestly, I dont see the big deal here. I really thought that time would heal but really, it doesnt fully cure.

I cant help passing by you in school, knowing how much hatred you have towards me, by the way you glance at me with your killing eyes. I've grown oblivious towards the kindness & love that everyone else showers me with everyday. Seems like I've been ignoring most of the people around me simply because I dont want the same thing to repeat. I keep on thinking where did it go wrong. But I cant find the answer to that question.

You know, up until now, I will reread the "happy birthday bro" wish you sent me the other day. I was too overwhelmed to even decently reply. Too scared, probably. Scared that you might think I misunderstood or scared that you might think I'm annoying (which I know I've annoyed you so much).

Frankly speaking, I miss you. There. I said it. I miss our little talks at night. I miss getting random text messages from you. I miss it when I would be seeing you everyday, knowing that you'd call me bitch but I dont even mind. I still remember that gesture you gave to me right before you got out of the bus the other day. I was undoubtedly shocked but truthfully, I liked it. It might sound a bit cheesy but that's what I felt.

I started loving you as a brother from another mother. We shared so many things in common. We even hated the same things, that includes people. One day, when we're okay, I hope you will read this & laugh at how silly we were. I hope so everything will be alright. I really do.

Yours truly,
The one who you thought is already happy living life, when the fact is on the contrary.
Black Moustache