This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Saturday, 26 July 2014

...heck I dont even know myself

"my head's underwater but i'm breathing fine"

Assalamualaikum. I feel the utter need to post something up before Raya & I'm thinking of posting something intellectual but.........I'm not good with interpreting & analyzing stuffs so I'll stick on my own suck-ish style.

Looking back at my older posts, I realize how much I've changed since then. It's funny how you wake up every single day to a rather ordinary routine, & just go through the life as it is, oblivious on how much you've actually changed proportionally with time. You experience new things, new people, new opportunities. Everything comes, & also goes without your conscious.

I guess you will only start to realize the changes after a certain part of you........well, felt different. You'll eventually know when your circle of friends keeps rotating every once in a while, your clothes dont seem to fit anymore (or in certain cases, become loose), your relationship with the people around you become stronger, or in the worst-case scenario, turned into something you least expected, which is to become strangers again.

After a while, these minor changes stay permanent. But then again, how valid is "permanent"? After all, everything in this world is temporary. Even yourself is temporary, let alone all the good stuffs that are happening or will happen. They, too, will pass. Cherish the people around you while they're still around, but do not be sorry when they start to grow distant from you. That's when it's already too late & you will forever regret that.

You know what? I've gotten too used to people leaving me that I dont even care who stays or who leaves. Not like how it used to be, the days when I would suck at being happy because I kept thinking of the people who left & how to get them back in my life. I'm forever indebted to those who will actually put an effort to always be in my life picture, but on the contrary, I wont even bother if some of them want to leave. It's like whenever I realize that things are starting to get awkward between us, I'll be "it's okay, they'll eventually come back, or not."

You will come to a point where you'll know you dont really need to be loved widely, but instead to be loved deeply. That's mainly why people tell you that you'll only need one or two close friends who have mutual understanding with you, or those who have this secret pledge to be by your side, always. The ones who you dont necessarily need to talk to or see everyday, but somehow both of you know that deep in your hearts, you're still buds. To be loved deeply by a person is already good enough for me.

p/s: the fault in our stars is definitely a beautiful movie
Black Moustache