This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.


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Wednesday, 7 January 2015

You're the demon who broke my heart

but you're also the angel who fixed it

I learned a few of our favorite songs on the guitar, to play it for you during one of our late night conversations, but I guess you wont have the time to listen to them anymore as you have other meaningful songs which you share with someone else. It's okay, I understand.

I stalk you everyday, in hoping that you would tweet me some sort of signal that you'd still need me in your life, but you never do. In fact, I see you're happier living life without me. You told me you need me all the time? Prove it.

I somehow knew that things wont ever be the same ever again, I've been there a few times. I should just tell you to leave as I know where exactly this leads to. But I was so selfish, I desire for you so much. How will I ever know if you crave for me as much as I crave for you?

I waited for so many nights, hopelessly hoping that you would text me "asleep?" like you used to do back then when you didnt have anyone else & I was the only one. I would reply at 3 or 4 & if you're somehow conscious at the moment, we would just talk until dawn though I know both of us are awfully restless but we stayed for each other's sake. When can I get those moment again?

I dreadfully miss shutting out everyone else & just focus my time on you, even if somebody else came looking for me & at the same time I'm talking to you, I would put you over anyone else. Give me reasons to believe that you would do the same for me.

I sacrificed so much for you, & you ended up taking me for granted. I know I'm hurting myself but hey I'm still holding on. I just want & need you. Only you.

I was stupid for deluding myself into thinking that you'd still care for me or even you'd still want to listen to my rants on how my day was & even though I know you told me you pretty much dont care of whatever I'm talking about, I'd still want to talk to you. Even when I ridicule myself in front of you, I wont even mind. It has always been you.

I just miss you so much. I'm sorry. I know you're getting sick of me & my clingy self but I cant help it. I want you more than want, need you more than need. (Oh sorry I know this is not "our song" anymore)
Black Moustache