This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Sunday, 26 April 2015

Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?

what do you do when the pieces don't fit in anymore?

Have you ever lost something that's so precious to you? When you've finally realised you lost it, you put in so much effort to find it because it's simply too special to be gone & forgotten. But then as you're searching for it highs & lows, you encounter something else which was once useful to you, but you've kept it hidden for a very long time that you almost forget it actually existed in your life & was actually something meaningful to you, once.

I've been so lost all this while. People around me have been asking me to be who I was, the quirky guy who doesn't really care about life, who would just randomly barge into someone's life & come with an extra happy package, who doesn't really know how to define sadness because it's something alien to me, who would constantly make everyone around me happy to see the joy I would spread around.

As I was looking for my "old" self, I miraculously found a "new" self. A new me who had gone through so much that never would I want to go through the same circumstances again. Myself who would willingly distract myself from feeling lonely by trying out new things. Myself who would try my best to make myself happy first before I make people around me happy. This new self reminds me so much of my old self, with the exception that I've gotten better.

I'm keeping this new self. I hope I won't ever find that hideous & dark side of me who was so weak & vulnerable that crying myself to sleep has become a norm. I have become so disgusted at that weak part of me. I'm throwing it away for good. Let me enjoy my life with whatever I have now, without having to chase for people who won't make any effort in staying.

Remember me as a torn photograph that you keep in between pages, which you won't even remember which page I was in. Long gone & forgotten. I hope if you ever came back to that page later in your life, you'll see me lying there & remember how much I once meant to you.

ps: i forget to thank you too, but thank you bud :-)
Black Moustache