This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Thursday, 21 May 2015

Deadly living the life of dreamers

lost your balance on a tight rope, lost your mind trying to get it back

I'm too stressed out lately. Nothing seems to go right. I'm not doing decent in my studies, I have a lot to catch up yet I'm still lingering around complaining how bland my life is. Then after I sit for any class test, I don't really get good reviews & it kind of demotivate myself. I need motivation. I need my parents. I think I overestimated myself for any of this.

Last Friday was the worst. My day didn't start off as good as I thought it would be, with my personal problems unsolved when I thought I could handle it by myself. I came quite late to class, with swollen eyes & puffed up cheeks. I couldn't even fully concentrate on lectures. The worst part was when I got back my test paper which didn't even deserve to be graded. The struggle of trying to hold back tears in class is real. I went quiet all the way until break & contacted my mum & cried. It's like everything's coming to me, one after another. I couldn't hold it any longer.

I miss my friends. I don't get to spend much time with the people I cherish as I now have to concentrate more on getting my studies back together which was never even a whole piece in the first place. It sucks but the thought of failing myself & the people around me is even scarier. Sometimes I think I'm exaggerating but all I know right now is I need to get my head back in the game.
Black Moustache