This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.


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Tuesday, 12 May 2015

No matter how hard your day gets, be nice to yourself

i dream by day, think by night

It's always beautiful when you know you are loved deeply by a person. However, it's surreal when everything's running smoothly. I cant really accept it if everything seems too perfect to be true. Growing up & being told repeatedly that everything's ephemeral & that perfection does not exist except for The Almighty, I somehow have become immune to things being left & forgotten. Not exactly immune, but I occasionally question myself; do you honestly expect everything will be rainbows & sunshine? Then I will answer; no. Then I'll move on. Sounds simple but trust me - it's not. After all, life has its own ups & downs right?

It's not that I'm always waiting for things to just fall apart & do nothing about it, but I've gone through so much to put in effort anymore. I got tired of being disappointed, of getting my hopes high & watching them all break into pieces that I have to pick up by myself. I won't chase for anyone anymore. I'm here if you need me, I'm not running after people to prove that I matter. If I matter to you & you matter to me, we both would know that & it won't take any much effort to just keep this bond going. As long as I know we have nothing against each of us, we should be friends forever.

We exist as long as someone remembers us. It's understood why Augustus Waters is so scared of oblivion, of being forgotten by this world upon our demise, of being "just another human being" roaming the face of the world. We strive so hard to be remembered by everyone on the Earth, if it's ever possible, or at least by someone who would always remember us even after years of not physically being next to each other. No matter how much distance will separate you from your loved ones, you know you will always exist. Distance is not always about proximity, it's about making the hearts grow fonder the next time 2 people meet. That was why Hazel Grace was so offended when Augustus said that, because she knew he will always be remembered. Similarly, as long as I know I exist in someone's life, I'll be just fine.

I stumbled upon this quote the other day as I was scrolling through my dash on Tumblr & I thought it's kind of accurate. God bless whoever had the idea of writing this down & sharing with us netizens. It was a long quote actually, but it was talking about how love is a contradiction.

We're always told that love is eternal. It is something extraordinary that will stick to us for as long as we live. However, once we've gone through a break-up, we are also told that moving on & forgetting people are just a phase that we go through & that "it takes time". That one day will eventually come & it will stop hurting once & for all, & someone else will come along & cheer you up. All of a sudden, it's a thing you have to get over with as time passes. Isn't it contradictory? I'm not entirely sure but all I know is I'm somewhere in between those two.

ps; thank you for still remembering me after so long :-)
Black Moustache