This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.


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Friday, 26 June 2015

I realize I'm stuck with me for the rest of my life

Heartbroken people are unlike any other people. They are very sensitive, especially with words & silence. They look at things very differently compared to people who are not particularly as chaotic as they are. Their time moves at an amazingly slower pace because they do not have anyone to pass the time with. They often think too much, trying to find definite answers to infinite questions they have in mind. It's this emotional, mental & physical torture they cannot possibly explain or put down into words. One has to go through it in order for one to understand.

Nothing can simply distract them from it. But then, after a while, they'll begin to live their life more & develop new habits. They get used to not getting a text message every morning reminding them how much a person cares for them. They get used to not calling someone at the end of the day to tell them how their day went. They replace these old habits with new habits, such as planning for anticipated meet ups with their dearest friends, talking to their pals in a group chat all day & laughing their ass off looking like a silly in front of the phone, and seeking out for fresh adventures with their buddies just to brush things off their head. They know they're fine. And they hope the other person's fine too.

Right at the start of last year, I kept reminding myself to not let myself get attached to a single soul, or let anyone else get attached to me. I tremendously failed myself last year but I'm being extra careful from now on. I do not want this hard earned bliss to go to waste. The amount of effort I've put in for myself to get where I'm at now, is exhausting. I'll just live my life as it is, with severe precautionary steps I need to strictly adhere to.

I've been listening to Clean by Taylor Swift a lot lately. I guess that's how I'm feeling at this point in time. When that person finally has the courage to break the prolonged silence & I realize that I don't feel anything anymore when I talk to them, that's how I know I'm finally clean.

ps; i personally love low-maintenance friends who i don't need to talk to for months because we're living life but when we meet up it's nothing but love
Black Moustache