This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.

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Saturday, 25 July 2015

Tied together with a smile but I'm coming undone


Hey there, sorry for the 2-weeks hiatus but I've been a bit busy filling my life with good memories & expanding my social circle lately, & engrossed with focusing on my own happiness that I didn't really have the time to share it with people online. More plans & good times in the future, insyaAllah.

Living without Twitter & Instagram for a few months has made me realise a lot of things. That I can actually live without having to regularly scroll through tweets & feeds, that life is so much more than "staying connected" through online conversations & comments, that people choose what they want to share, & not enabling us to merely judge them without knowing them personally. I was originally a person who preferred expressing myself within 140 characters & sharing pictures of me looking decent with irrelevant captions, but at one point, I felt like the attention I'd received from people are fake & people often presume so many things without actually knowing the real situation. That was what initiated me to finally decide to start all over, making the views as discreet as possible.

So Eid just passed, & I have to say my Eid got a bit better this year. Maybe because I get to go over to my friend's houses or because I actually helped around for preparations or because I finally appreciate time spent with my family & friends, I'm not sure. I just hope I'm still around for next Eid & it will get extra good next time. 

Here's the thing - I daydream of perfect fantasies & happy endings a lot. But that made me realise how empty I am on the inside that I had to fill it up with unrealistic things that are missing from my life. Instead of a carefree refuge from reality, it became a painful reminder of the gaping holes in my heart that only fantasies can fill.

Here's another thing - instead of hoping for a better situation, I'm working on a better me.
Black Moustache