This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.


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Wednesday, 10 February 2016

3 questions. (cont.)

1. There's a lot of ways how you can interpret this question, really. In my most gullible opinion, falling in love is not a choice. Like, you don't simply have the authority of the mind to decide who you find attractive or who you are interested in. You just happen to see a person who is appealing to your eyes, & you would immediately think it would be nice if you got to know them better. Then when you finally do get to know them, & you're happy that their personality suits your interests, then BAM there you go falling in love with them. But then, for me, staying in love is a choice. It's up to you whether or not you want to continue going through your days with that particular person. How when you picture yourself in the future, you would see the same person right there beside you, giving you moral supports in everything you do. You'll decide whether you want to stay with them despite the rough patches, after going through the beginning days of a relationship where everything's smooth sailing & when all you ever want to do is get all over each other. Once you get past the honeymoon phase, & then you realise the commitment you've gotten yourself into, but you don't freak out as much because everything just feels right. How you would choose to stay no matter how murky the water gets, because you know how much that person means to you. That's the choice you would have to make on a daily basis. Love has never really occurred to me as a feeling. I mean, it is something that makes you feel all bubbly inside, but it's also the thing that would eventually make you question; is this worth the effort? Is this worth the pain? Is this worth the choice? If we were to believe that love is a feeling, we would never have any relationship that would last, of any sort. Feelings fade away, but it's the conscious commitment that we put in order to make things work everyday with the same person that makes things last. When things go wrong, it's up to you if you want to stay & fix things to make it alright again, or to just walk away from it. It's about the commitment, through thick & thin, that makes a person dedicate their whole life to another human being. Be it parents, siblings, lovers or friends, love is all about the choices you make. Falling out of love is another choice you would have to make, once you've decided to walk away from a relationship that you chose.

2. This question is rather tricky. When you are in love with someone, there's so many things that you would do for the other person. You would even go the extra mile just to see that smile you've always adored. So much plans for the future, plans that did work, plans that were not as successful in execution. Then when you've done so many things with a person, that you would promise things that are sometimes unrealistic but well, since you're blinded by love, you promise anyway without really looking into the consequences of what may or may not happen. But then when things don't work out, when you've parted ways with the other person, there might be some things that you really looked forward to but didn't get to experience as you would have to move on from all of that. Then when you really look into it, when you really start to miss things, that you would think of the days when you were still loved by that person. That is when you would be so totally devoted to the idea of someone. The days when you would think of what it would be like if the person was still right by your side, or what you would do every morning when you woke up & they were there right beside you. When you would reminisce of how their hair smelled in the morning, how adorable their face looked like when they were sleeping, how calming it was to see their slow but constant breathing, how totally in love you were with the person, that you would picture them by you the entire time. How when you woke up in the middle of the night & the first thing you would find is their hand for you to hold on to & then they would grab you closer with your legs intertwined. How you would put your head on their chest, getting very much engrossed in their stories & telling yours in between. How you just wished that for once, time would actually stop right there & then. To put it in much simpler words, you're in love with the idea of someone when you're trying to move on from them.

3. I'm going to go ahead & say, you're just too absorbed with the notion of having someone by your side. It's not that you always need a person by your side to keep you going, you're too influenced by excessive romanticisation of pretty much everything. As long as you know there is somebody out there who loves you for who you are, & as long as you put yourself before anyone else, you should be okay going through your days. It doesn't matter if they were your family or friends, you would always have someone to turn to whenever you're feeling blue. You just need to reach out to the right people. Plus, your bae should be yourself. Make yourself happy first before you even think of making others happy. Sometimes you have to be selfish. Take some time alone, think & rethink of the things that are going on in your life, treat yourself things that you know nobody would have the luxury of giving them to you. Just remember that the right person would eventually come along. You don't really need to put in any effort in searching for the one. If two people were meant to be, then no matter how far they deviate from each other, they would always find that their roads would eventually lead them back together sometime in the future. All you need is time. For the time being, treat yourself right, for there's nobody that's more valuable than your own self. Don't think of it as you're alone. Just remember that there are 7 billion people out there, & the right one would come along sooner or later.
Black Moustache