This blog is where I escape from reality & is the result of the listening part of me. Oh btw, I dont talk much in real life.


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Saturday, 29 April 2017

Ya about the stuff I was telling you guys yesterday? It doesn't just stop there. There are more episodes of me not feeling like I'm quite here after I'm back from my travels, but I'm not going to be too detailed because heck, I don't even know what I'm going through. I don't have the words to describe how I'm feeling or why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling now. Everything just seems to be very.... distant.

I feel like there's a difference between being just sad or stressed, and the way I'm feeling now. When I'm feeling the former, I don't find it troubling to talk about it with my friends. I know exactly how I feel and frankly I can go on and on talking about it. But now it's like I'm having all these intertwining thoughts, complicated ones, that I have no idea what they are. All I know is I'm feeling quite messed up and I don't know how to talk about it. It is feeling so low, underneath layers and layers of God-knows-what that makes you not want to engage with anything at all.

It's so hard having to maintain a strong facade on a daily basis when all you really want to do is to curl up under the sheets and not do anything. I don't feel like crying or what but I really don't want to get out of bed. I envy people who manage to get all their work done and who seem to have their lives all figured out. God knows what they're going through but at least they're caught up with their work.

Sometimes I feel like I know myself but I always have second thoughts when something like this happens. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so many emotions (?) at once. It doesn't help that I have a deadline next week and finals in less than a month. Hopefully I'll feel better by then.

p.s.: this post and the previous one are kind of personal so I'd appreciate it if they stay within the imaginary walls of this blog and not be brought up in real life no matter how badly you want to know how I'm doing etc this blog is my safe space and I'm trusting you guys not to take that away from me thanks
Black Moustache